i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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