im drinking this country out of the recession.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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