Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
