just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
