At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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