i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize