It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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