It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
