the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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