Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
