I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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