We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
