The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
