I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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