I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
