lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
