grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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