Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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