Me. At least after what I've been through.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
