So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
