so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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