Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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