Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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