ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize