White coat. Heels.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
