i just made my gag reflex go away.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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