I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
