Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
