Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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