No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
