I understand Curling. That high.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
