i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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