its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
