She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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