You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
