This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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