All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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