did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
