Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
