Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize