i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
