I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
