Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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