I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am mentally ready for anal.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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