He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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