I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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