Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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