She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
