i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
