my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
