Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
