Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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