I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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