birth control should be required to get into college
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
