i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
