we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize