Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Vodka?
Forever.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize