I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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