I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
