i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
