I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im holly from the hills drunk
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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